The Heretic

 

The Heretic 
by Emo Philips

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
 "Why shouldn't I?" he said.   I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"   He said, "Like what?"

 I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"   He said, "Religious."   I said, "Me too!

 Are you Christian or Buddhist?"   He said, "Christian."   I said, "Me too!

 Are you Catholic or Protestant?"   He said, "Protestant."   I said, Me too!

 Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?   He said, "Baptist!"   I said, "Wow! Me too!

 Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?   He said, Baptist Church of God!"   I said, "Me too!

 Are you Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"   I said, "Me too!

 Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"   He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"

 I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.